![]() ![]() King, Arthur Knowledge, Insane Ian, Matt Iannone, Lotus Prince, Michael Novelli, Kitty Marie, and leading the group, Linkara.) We see reviewers like Calluna, Luke Spencer, Spazz Master, Tricksterbelle, Doggans, Ryan Hipp, Chris The Nerd, R.L. (Cut to Jerk sitting in a circle of other reviewers like an intervention or an AA meeting. Randy Moore: It's a corporate religion for so many people, you know? Dare I say the word "cult," but there's cultish aspects of it. (Cut to an interview Randy Moore did for the film.) He and I have quite a bit in common we both visited Disney parks a lot as little kids, usually with just one parent, we both loved every minute of every childhood visit, and then, as grown adults, we both came to realize that these parks are nothing but nightmarish, deceitful shams. Randy Moore, whose name ironically rhymes with the voice of a Disney princess (Mandy Moore from " Tangled"). Jerk (v/o): And who was this bold new voice in 21st Century cinema? None other than Mr. Ironically, Spazz's day job is at Universal Studios.Jerk: I know where it was shot and I already told you, I am not setting foot in that rancid hellhole again! Disney is an evil corporation. Spazz: This movie has nothing to do with Universal, it was shot on location at. Spazz Master: (Annoyed) Why are you still at Universal? (We cut to static then to Spazz Master in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle in Disneyland.) Someone finally had the guts to stand up to those lying vicious rodent bastards and sneak a camera past Disney security, then they pointed that camera at a human face, and then they pressed a button! You know, we really don't see that many truly revolutionary concepts in one lifetime, so I think. (Cut to Jerk in front of the Universal Studios globe fountain) It was shot with digital consumer cameras, entirely in black and white to make lighting easier, and mostly shot guerrilla style on location at Disneyland and Walt Disney World, without a scrap of permission from the famously litigious Walt Disney Company. Jerk (v/o): You see, "Escape From Tomorrow" wasn't, strictly speaking, legal. Boy, are those old fogies gonna feel silly when their grandkids tell them about the Internet! (laughs) Uh, remember the bad guy from " Captain America 2" (Robert Redford)? Well, every year, he compiles a YouTube playlist, projects it in dark rooms, up in the mountains, and scams the upper 1% by charging them to watch it with them. Jerk: Oh, um, for the benefit of my younger viewers, I should probably explain what Sundance is. Jerk (v/o): This film has been on my radar ever since it premiered at Sundance 2013, where, despite being a tiny, low-budget, indie film made by a first-time director and a cast that had no famous people, it soon took the festival by storm and skyrocketed to international notoriety. (Cut to footage from "Escape from Tomorrow") ![]() ![]() Jerk: (Groans at the thought of the show than perks back up) Anyway, someone shot a movie at the Disney parks! Jerk: They actually call it "The Jerk Off," because they can! MTV: "Artistic expression is dumb! (referring to their phasing out of music videos) Content is dumb! (referring to the short cancellation of "Daria") We're horrible jerk offs and we're gonna live forever!" (Cut to some one on the show, badly twerking) MTV: "Uuuunnnngh!" Tone Bell (Host of the show): The audience will actually decide "The Jerk Off!" Jerk (v/o): (Sarcastically) Hey I gotta idear: let's make the world's most retarded prank show for those who find "Jersey Shore" too high-brow! Uh-oh! One of the jerks pretended to take someone's cell phone! BA HA HA! Stupid pedestrian thinks her property is being stolen! Uh-oh! This jerk's holding up an elevator indefinitely! BA HA HA! Stupid people with jobs they're gonna be late for! (We see a prank of a jerk moving a baby carriage roughly, nearby people notice) Uh-oh! These people think a baby's being endangered! BA HA HA! Stupid life-forms with no basic cable show! God, I hate them all! (We cut to clips from MTV's "Jerks With Cameras", set to abrasive dubstep music) MTV's (yells) "JERKS WITH CAMERAS!" ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?! Cut back to Jerk, looking depressed.) Have you ever felt overshadowed? Eclipsed? Usurped, even? Have you ever spent years of your life that you will never get back, toiling relentlessly on a massively ambitious project, very near and dear to your heart, only to see someone else with more money and resources than you will ever have, swoop in and abduct your spotlight with an idea just similar enough to yours that you look like the idea thief who's just riding a coattail? Have you ever felt like that? Cause I have. I'm Some Jerk With A Camera! (We cut to the entrance archway for the park with the "Some Jerk With A Camera" Logo in the style of Disney's logo. Jerk: To all who come to this reasonably content place, welcome. (We cut to Jerk in front of the Universal Studios Hollywood entrance sign, the screen is in black and white.) ![]()
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